All you talk about is SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX...Niggaa You A VIRGIN

Sometimes your knight in shining armor is just a retard in tin foil

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

A man asked a genie to make him a billion times smarter than anyman on earth, so the genie turned him into a woman.

You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.

Creating situations in your head that will NEVER happen in real life.

He came to me one night. Explored my body, licked, sucked, swallowed! When satisfied, he left & I was hurt!!... Fucking mosquito!

Fake tan, fake eyes, fake hair, fake nails... bitch are you sure you're not made in china?

bugging your parents because you are bored

"I'll fight for you, until your heart stops beating." – Jacob

"Dude, i bet you cant open this", *opens it* "I loosened it for you!!"

"hey, I haven't talked to you in forever!" you: "yeah, I was hoping we could keep it that way."

"It's so fluffy I'm gonna die!! IT'S SO FLUFFAAAAAY!!"

My Stomach Drops When I Think About You Being With Somebody Else....

The world can't end in 2012, I have a yogurt that expires in 2013.

WTF!!! I DIDN'T PAY FOR HALF A PACKET OF AIR!!!!!!!!

Its gonna be funny when Bella is 100 yeas into the relationship with Edward and she tells him, "I shoulda stayed with the wolf..."

Everyone wants to be happy, no one want the pain. But you cant have a rainbow without the rain.

Not trusting girls because they can bleed for 6 days and not die

A boy gives a girl 10 roses, 9 real and 1 fake. And he says to the girl that he'll love her, until the last one dies.

Jacob: "I kissed bella , then she broke her hand, punching me in the face"

I didn't fall, I attacked the floor.

I don't care if it's rude to stare, you are hot, so I will stare.

"EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP!" *answers phone* "Hi Mommy :)"

I'm telling the truth, but then I smile, and then they think I'm lying.

"Im tired" "You can go to sleep" "No!" "..Why?" "I wanna talk to you :)"

walking into your maths class and instantly feeling depressed as you take your seat. on I like this!

"Coke Please!" "Is Pepsi alright?" "Is Monopoly money alright?"

"Be safe!" "No, mom, I was planning on dying today."

"NEVER say NEVER".... you've just said it twice...LOL

Walking into your room and saying "wow i should clean this" then walk out.

Dracula: I suck people's blood and terrorize the villagers! What do you do? Edward: I... sparkle....

"Mom, I'm going out." "With friends?" "No mom, with Pikachu."

No I didn't trip... The floor looked like it needed a hug. :)

"Awww, you're cute when you're mad"..... "Well, I'm about to get adorable!!"